Pay Teachers Millions
By Berwick “Underscore” Augustin
You wouldn’t be able to read this sentence if you weren’t taught by a teacher! Every literate soul has had the privilege of learning from an educator; whether home schooled, private, or public. We’re talking about a profession that is part of society’s backbone. Yet they’re compensated peanuts for the noble work. They encourage, inspire, instruct, and MAKE students think. They PAY attention to every child’s academic, social, and emotional needs. Thus, the educator schizophrenically becomes pseudo parent, friend, role model, social worker, confidant, and advocate. Imagine that multiplied by 40-100 students per day! On occasions they have to dodge a bullet, referee boxing matches, fight germs and diseases. Let’s not forget the need to put on a Jesus costume daily to deal with a hell of a lot of unrighteous parents. Yet a teacher’s salary is anorexic. You ever wonder how salaries are calculated? Who determines the process to tag six figures to certain professions? Whoever and however “they” skin that cat, the “Einsteins” somehow forgot that teachers are the ones who help prepare EVERY professional on the planet. Yeah, yeah, yeah we all know about the adage of doing something out of love and passion. At the same time, underappreciated can undermine the passion and suck every drip of love out of any living soul. Imagine a world where teachers were treated like sports stars? If you can’t picture it, maybe this spoof will help. Enjoy!